Top 10 Signs Your A Bad Barista

coffeet1

10) Name tag either says Larry, Curly, Moe or Shemp

9) Barely made it through coffee clinical

8) Lungs still sore over break room ‘cinnamon challenge’

7) Unable to concentrate during training because of the large mole on trainer’s forehead.

6) Still kinda freaked out after bombing the “extra toppings” exam

5) Frustrated that a customer said I probably couldnt find my butt with two hands and a flashlight.

4) Became upset when wasn’t able to find my butt with two hands and a flashlight

3) Feeling horrible after starting the Dr. Oz “take all herbal supplements that begin with ‘G’ ” diet

2) Worried that the boss might find out about being a Waffle House double agent.

1) Haven’t quite overcome strange, irrational fear of “everything” bagels. (What EXACTLY do they put in those things!?)

 

Attempting Poetry #1: The House At The End Of The Street

foggyhouseg

I walk to the house
at the end of the street
Dark muddy ruts weave a path
I follow them towards the door
The cold damp Winter air
carries acrid scent of decaying leaves
and burnt wood
into my lungs

Approaching the house
its windows frame of darkness
and Burst of wind masks
any possible sounds of life within

Stepping closer
the curtains dance
through windows without glass
then stop
as the breeze retreats back into the nearby woods

The house doesn’t seem as welcoming as before
and my walk less peaceful

Halloween. The best holiday. Ever. 

The color of the leaves. A warm cup of coffee…or maybe a little boilo. A cup of Tommy’s M & S chili, while watching the Halloween parade in St. Clair, PA. The crunch of leaves under your feet, amplified by the sidewalk…or muffled on a forest floor.

There is nothing like the cool, crisp air; carrying the delicate scent of burning wood. Impressionist paintings embedded in WordPress blogs. In close proximity to a great deal of blather.